Perfectionism and people pleasing isn’t a character flaw - it’s a symptom of colonialism

Dec 04, 2024

Take a deep exhale.

I’m here to let you know that the need you feel to please everybody, be well-liked, seen as good, morally upstanding, nice, beautiful and someone who makes everyone else happy…

may not just be a symptom of neurodiversity, a personal character flaw, being a virgo, or a result of your childhood trauma - though all of these can certainly play a role.

It is a symptom of colonialism which introduced us to patriarchy- the belief that men are superior to women and any other gender. In order for folks socialized as women (and all who are not cisgender men) to be semi-respected in a patriarchal society, there are impossible standards to be met.

Women are constantly sent the following messages:

Smile. Be polite and agreeable. Look beautiful. Be thin, but not too thin. Real women have curves, but only in the right places and no cellulite or body rolls! Wear high heels, even if your feet are killing you. Turn us on and wear something to please the male gaze, but...

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My Thoughts After the 2024 U.S. Election...

Nov 10, 2024

Like many of us, I’ve been feeling all kinds of fear, anger, grief and rage this week.

Of course my own feelings are likely nothing compared to those of you who are residents of the United States and most especially those of you whose basic human rights are now at stake. Words cannot express my empathy and solidarity for you. Hopefully with time, my actions will speak louder than words anyway. 

Donald Trump was elected once again to be president of the USA. Maybe you are shocked, maybe you’re not, but one thing is clear: the patriarchy and supremacy culture is alive and well. 

Though I am in the northern part of Turtle Island (on the land currently colonized as “Canada”) I, like most of the world, am feeling the impacts of this election. I received a few messages this week from folks eager to hear my thoughts as someone “on the front lines of decolonization” as one friend said. 

Before I could string any sensible thoughts together,...

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What even is decolonization and why is this word so controversial?

Nov 10, 2024

Decolonization. One of the most widely debated, emotionally charged words that often leaves people feeling either confused, triggered, intrigued or all of the above. 

So what exactly does decolonization even mean and why is this word such a hot topic?

Let me start by saying that a lot of people have a lot of varying definitions and mine is just one opinion. I’ll share how I view decolonization specifically in my work as a communicator, writer, speaker, and mentor and cite the educators I’ve learned from as appropriate. 

I’ll be honest… I wonder every single day if ‘decolonization’ is truly the right word for the work that I do.

I’m well aware of the critics that warn “decolonization is not a metaphor” especially highlighted by the article of the same name by Eve Tuck and K. Wayne Yang. Perhaps it’s reconciliation and relationship building that I am doing, not ‘decolonization’. 

But until I have a...

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What Cancelling a Program Taught Me

Oct 25, 2024

As some of you may already know, I’ve decided to hit pause on the Steward of Wealth (SOW) program, which was set to launch in January 2025.

While it was initially a tough decision, the more I’ve sat with it, the more I feel a sense of relief and alignment. And I want to share this process with you, because I know many of us—especially in the entrepreneurial world—face these moments of uncertainty.

Here’s what this experience taught me.

Tuning Into Why

When I first made the decision to cancel, I had a few people reach out to me on Instagram, applauding my choice. They were feeling similar things in their own businesses, like the grind of trying to sell a program that just wasn’t flowing. While it would be easy to assume I cancelled SOW because the spots weren’t filling, that wasn’t really the case, although the spots were filling much more slowly than anticipated. We already had two people signed on, contracts signed, payments made and...

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